Resurrection

Away, away, ghost of my dead desire,
Stir not again the ashes in my breast,
Of all my loves I had made one great fire,
And burned thine image even as the rest!

Now from his grave Love casts the covering,
And once again there rises through the night,
Like sudden water from a perished spring,
The murdered music of my Slain delight!

I have just returned from my morning coffee. It tastes good. It's times like this I wish I could feel the affects of Caffine. I feel tired, although I don't need to sleep. I suppose it's more of a mental weariness.

I returned home after buying a phone and some clothes for my father yesterday to find he was awake. He had ravaged my emergency blood supply, And was pacing my drawing room impatiently. Apparently it is impolite to leave when you have guests. I did try to argue that it is impolite to turn up uninvited to visit your daughter who you have convieniently forgotten about for the past 100 years... but my words fell on deaf ears.
He wants me to return to America with him. Around 60 years ago he formed a clan, hoping that he could make the vampyres work together. It failed massively, and alot of the Vampyres turned on each other, and on him. Now, he is being chased by a renegade group of them.
He is adamant none of them have followed him here. I don't believe him.
I have told him he has to leave tonight. I won't go with him. I went out hunting for us both last night, and now his thirst is sated, there is no more I can do for him. No, there is no more I will do for him.
I won't risk her safety.
We are going to a pub tonight.
I have arranged with my neighbours to give out my sweets to the children tonight, in the vague hope I will be able to avoid coming home to a defaced house.
There is a kindly old man who lives on the right of me. He must be nearly as old as I am, although of course, it shows for him. He has promised to keep an eye on things for me. He said it was nice to see me smiling.
It is nice to be smiling.
I know it won't last, and I know it will get worse. I know she just wants a friendship, and I don't even think it's safe for me to give her that.
But I can't help myself.
Sitting here, thinking rationally, I know I am a danger to her. I know that no matter how much she means to me, If I lose my cool, or she disturbs me in the middle of Bloodlust, then all the time I spent protecting her will be wasted, and I'd have to live with myself after killing someone I love. Again.
It's safer for her, and for me if I just stop now. But I can't. I just can't say no to her.
Is it worth the risk?
Would she think it was worth the risk, if she knew what I really was?

No.

Tarvoris